Well, as you can tell I haven't been very active with my blog. I have kind of been in a funk the past several months, but everyone at the academy has been on me to post some sort of random sentences. I guess it is time to feed the masses....so here it is.
I finally finished my six months of chemotherapy and that was draining me of a lot of energy and basically all I wanted to do was to lay on the couch and veg. I am starting to feel somewhat normal again, and by normal I mean not being nauseated and tired. The doctor said it would take 3-6 months for my immune system to return to normal, but instead they are going to start me on a at home injection of a new medicine called Acthar Gel, which will destroy my immune system again. Exciting!!
Also... I still hate needles after all I have been through, so you can't imagine my reaction to an at home injection.
If this medicine doesn't work I am going to either Duke university or MUSC for further tests. Yay more needles!!!
Yep, I have been struggling mentally and physically with this over past several weeks and months. A couple things have helped me cope and not slip into a downward spiral. Those things are coming home and seeing my 7 month old smiling and just starting to crawl towards me, my wife, who came to see me and bring me lunches during my chemo treatments and the the best outlet of all the mats. My BJJ buddies at Swampfox are always encouraging and keep me in good spirits. They are always amazed when I show up to the academy the day after I have had a treatment or that I am even attempting to roll.
I think all the outside influences on my health has impacted me mentally on the mats. I feel I have plateaued and I am not sure why. I have recently ran across several encouraging blogs and forum posts that talk about enjoying the roll and not worrying about the tap.
My teammates have really been encouraging and are constantly reminding me that they struggled as well. It is all part of the development. That eases my mind a little and makes me wonder when will I see the other side of the mountain. I am sure one day it will click, but as of right now in the words of Rickson Gracie, I am just going to " Flow with the go," and enjoy my rolls.
Have you ever plateaued? How did you handle it mentally?